I so hate myself for being so pessimistic. I've been thinking of quitting my job but then again I am somewhat enjoying it, labo. I've been complaining lately about this one subject that I can't understand completely or maybe I am just being pessimistic and that causes me for not to understand it but then again I just can't.
I am going to talk this matter to the coordinator where I belong and maybe he'll consider giving me loads that are somewhat the same with the other loads that I have. As early as now I am going to say my side rather than keep it with my self and suffer from it.
This is not the usual me, in fact I am starting to let it all out by crying. Yes! I can now feel the burden just because of this one subject that I want to give up. It's not fair if they allow the others give up some of their load for the same reason that they can't understand it, they should allow me because they already did it to the others. Considering that I have two subjects that I don't even know at all and I am trying my best to study it.
God! Please do allow them to allow me to give up that very one subject that causes me burden and pain right now.
Honestly speaking, I am not enjoying my job 100%, I mean right before as well as after I took the job I am still on the 50-50 basis. I am right with my feelings, I should not really accept the job after all.
Why am I being like this? This is not me and I am hating it. Maybe I was just shocked and I am still adjusting with the situation but then again maybe this career is not really meant for me.
Oh my! Just help me pray that they'll allow me to give up that very subject that I don't like then I'll be fine, I guess.
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