Memoir of an Heiress

Monday, January 14, 2008
7:52 PM

A Philosophy Of Life

Last thursday on our VALFORM (Values Formation) subject our professor prepared an activity which will let us know ourselves up to the very deepest soul. He showed us 10 questions that need to be answered whole-heartedly because whatever answer that you will write will reflect you're personality and outlook in life.

1. Who am I? - I am a nobody who dreams to be a somebody but still remains to be the same old nobody.
2. What is my purpose in life? - To fulfill my duty as a woman, to love and be loved in return, to touch one's life and soul, to live mylife to the fullest.
3. Who is the God I trust and believe in? - I trust and believe in the God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit who created us. He will and always will be the One true God.
4. Who are the important people in my life? - Family (father, mother, & sister), relatives (from grandparents to cousins), boyfriend, and of course, my friends.
5. What are the things that pleases me? - Material things because it is innate in man's nature to be please with material things but I'm more satisfied with the little and simple things done for me by the people dear to me.
6. What are my ambitions and plans in life? - To finish school, have a stable job, and to live happily ever after with the man I love.
7. How will I work to achieve my goals? - Work hard and show my boyfriend how important he is to me.
8. How can I serve other people? - By offering help to them up to the extent on what I can give.
9. What brings me peace of mind? - When I have no enemies, when my mind is a problem-free zone because I know I can sleep soundly, when I'm satisfied.
10. How I will wish to die? - I wish to die happy which means that I died completing my mission here on earth.

As I look at the questions as well as listen to the professor's explanations and guide, my mind is starting to wander somewhere over the rainbow and I thought that the questions are easy. When it's time to answer the questions I find it hard to answer every questions, it's like there are two people arguing inside my head. I don't know why but I guess both my pessimistic and optimistic persona are talking to me at the same time. I know that I'm a very optimistic person but there's also a side of me that is not but I never did entertain it until the day that I'm trying to know my inner self.

For the very first time in my life, I've been dumbfounded when it comes to myself. I was really wandering into the world of nothingness where no can help me escape except myself alone. I never ever thought that solitude would cover my whole body but right then and there, it did.

It's not that I don't know who I am but the activity just made me realized that there are still something deep within me that I don't know because I made myself satisfied with the things that I have now. I realized that I should not stop craving for things even if I'm already satisfied because through that cravings comes new life, new experiences, new dreams to achieve, new you.

Just as I thought that I'm already a matured grown-up because I'm satisfied and contented with everything but I was wrong. I made a fool out of myself by not playing with my mind and emotions because I choose to stay at a place where I will be safe and not get hurt. In return for the security that I have I wasn't able to learn and dream for new things because just like what I've said I was satisfied with the things that I have now and did not bother to entertain my craving for new things.

So I promise myself to not let my guard up to high when it comes to myself, I just hope it's not yet to late.

Minsan talaga hindi maganda na mababaw lang yung kaligayahan mo kasi madali kang nakukuntento sa kung anong meron ka at sa kung anong nangyayari sa iyo. Hindi naman sa nawawalan ka ng pangarap pero iba talaga kasi yung feeling na kuntento ka na. Hindi kaya natatakot lang talaga ako na kilalanin nang lubusan kong sino man ako?

Even if the subject (valform) is about basic knowledge about the school rules and self-awareness. I still did not expect that I'll learn something deep from it, something that will turn my life to 180 degress, if not 360 degrees.

Enough about the drama, let laugh now, hahaha! Again, hahaha! One more time, hahaha! Phew, that's better.

By the way, I gave you a wrong information on my uppydates entry. Our midterm exams will start on the 23rd of January which means about 2 weeks from now, so I still have a week to relax and after that I'll start burying my head on my notebooks. Oh, for the thesis I still don't know when was the real schedule for the defense because the schedule that we have were only tentative schedules. I just wish they will not schedule it during the examination week just like what they've done last semester.

Still on the thesis, we already found the hardware that we are going to use. It costs at around Php 4,000/each for the reader and Php 80/each for the tags but that was according to their website. We will call them on Monday to confirm the prices and asked them some questions. Hope it's really the device that we are looking for.

Anyway, my hubby will turn 25 on the 15th and I still don't know what to give him while the next day we'll be celebrating our 7 years and 4 months anniversary. I'm feeling the breeze of ever after, *kilig*

happy birthday to all january celebrants and stay inlove to all couples celebrating their anniversary, monthsary, or even day-sary. I know it's already 2 weeks late but Hey! It's better to late than never.